The monster I’ve become
That title has little or nothing to do with what I will record now. Some thoughtful person has been messing with my privacy for a month now,and it just shocks me how severely sick some people can get. Punishment is on the way though,not to worry. And I have no intentions to heal that person’s sickness. As a matter of fact I fantasize about inflecting physical pain on him. It’s now my ultimate craving, a burning desire within me to hear whatever voices of pain and suffering he can produce. That would be a sight now! A mental pervert in pain… oh how I crave it!
I am becoming paranoid.. obssessed with the idea of “safety”, which is really just an illusion. I am never safe, not online, not in reality, be it in the supermarket or in my bed, in the bathrrom or on the street. Never safe. Not even in the arms of a lover. This applies to you too. Be careful, be very careful. Leave no traces,no clues,and certainly no pictures or written material that can tie you down to any period of your life that you would want nobody to know about. The world is full of crazy people, and they are after ME!
I am a weirdo magnet. That said, it just seems natural that curious things happen in my life. I just tore out pages of my diary, and I intend to dispose of them. I am going nuts but if it means being a little bit safer or closer to that sweet illusion of safety that tickles my dreams then by all means, I’m your favorite fruitcake!
How many people know where you live?How many people do you think have your email address?How many people have pictures of you?How many people know your name?How many people have your number? Do you really know? Do you really know them all?
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June 4th, 2008 at 8:12 am
Something REALLY bad must’ve happened to scare the hell out of you like that.
It’s not cool when you use your safety, because you practically lose the ability to be yourself.
Me for example, I sleep with the front door open, I have an account opened on facebook with all my contacts available, and it’s open for almost everyone to see. Maybe the main difference is guy-girl, DUH.
But when I don’t feel safe somwhere, I can’t be the casual, funny and warm guy that I usually am. Safe here doesn’t mean not getting killed, but also not feeling welcomed by people.