Since I was equally made by Arab and non-Arab blood, it is only fair to speak of my Circassian roots. Despite the fact that I do not,by custom, follow my mother’s family in name, I am never any less attached to and proud of that lineage.

One of my most intimate childhood memories is of Adiga weddings. I am still in love with the ritualistic celebrations and dances that take place in the “Jagg”. The Jagg is the dance area right infront of the bride and groom’s seating. The men normally stand on the right side and the ladies on the left. It is customary for a “senior” couple to initiate the dancing and,as long as seniors are dancing, the bride and groom remain standing as a sign of respect for the elderly.

I believe the reason why I was so fascinated by Adiga weddings was because I found the stories behind them rather magical. In a conservative Arab society,and by that I mean my own circle the way I saw it at the time, it was new to me that a family could agree upon having a daughter fall publically in love with a man. Not only do Adiga families allow that, they also allow the two lovers to meet at the girl’s parents’ house,and to go out together to picnics and clubs and dances. I was fascinated by that when I was discovering the ways of my families. To my great surprise, I learned later on that the way of my mix of a family was not that different.

To trace matters to their roots, I will narrate how two lovers often meet. It happens usually at wedding parties or dances that a man notices a girl that he somehow likes and tries hard to get the chance to dance with her. Note that most Adiga dances involve only two people, a man and a lady. After the dance the two meet up, should the girl be available and initially attracted to the man in question. Such meetings can take place anywhere,naturally, not only during parties and Jaggs. I am only bringing you an image of the atmosphere at weddings.

There are two ways that Adiga lovers can resort to in order to get married. If the two families accept their love then no problems normally arise. However,if someone in the girl’s family does not accept such an engagement then the time calls for a procedure called “Khteefeh”, which literally means “kidnapping”.
Should the two lovers agree to use Khteefeh as a means to get married, certain steps must be made to ensure that the procedure will take place in harmony with customs. A senior ,well respected member of the man’s family will be informed and the bride to be will be taken to his house accompanied by her chaperon, a senior female member of her family. The groom, from the day his bride to be sets foot in the senior’s house, is prohibited to get in contact with his beloved and is even often prohibited to approach the house. Certain female members of the bride’s family would already have knowledge of the lovers’ decision to use Khteefeh.

I will explain the steps depending on my humble knowledge and on the answers I got for my questions from Adiga relatives. The reason why the bride is hosted at a senior’s house is basically a step taken to honour the girl’s family who refuses the marriage. It is also seen by some as a way in which the bride herself shows respect to her own family, by sending a message that although she is marrying against someone’s will,she is not ignorant of the customs and is not disrespectful of the family’s name. In addition to that, staying at a respectful senior’s house means that no harm could smear the family’s honour. That is precisely why she is also accompanied by a female senior of her own kin and why the groom is not allowed to see her.

There is another custom that I am personally fond of,it is carried at most weddings. Before the bride’s departure from her parents’ or the senior’s house, her female friends and relatives stop the groom’s family at the door. They prevent them from taking the bride away unless they pay what they call “7a2 Banat”,or “The girls’ right”. The groom’s family pays any sum of money required,and that is a different sum of money from that paid to the bride herself prior to the wedding. After proceeding, the male friends and relatives could also stop the groom’s family and take another sum of money called “7a2 shabab”,or “The guys’ right”.

After a short period of time,the wedding takes place. The bride’s father and brothers should not attend since they are often the ones opposing the marriage in case of Khteefeh. During the Jagg, and to make the dance an organised event, two people take charge of the dancers. A woman at the women’s side and a man on the men’s side. These two guide the dancers into the Jagg and when a dancing couple is done dancing, usher another.
Most Adiga weddings would hire a “Pshinawa”, that is a person who plays the “Pshina”. The Pshina being the musical instrument used to play Adiga music. If the Pshinawa is a man he stands by the men’s side, if a woman then by the women’s side. Normally the pieces played at weddings and danced to are Qafa or Zafaqwa, Wedj, and Sheshen which is adopted from the Chechens.

I will be telling you more about the wonderful world of Adiga Xabza, the totality of Adiga traditions and language.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, September 25th, 2005 at 1:07 am and is filed under Bits & pieces. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.