Impersonal jotting down of thoughts
I was just browsing the archives of my Box, and I often do that to return to former times when the experience of blogging was different from what it is now. I return to my previous blog, too, sometimes, to find out how my way of expressing myself has changed over time. It is an eye-opening journey, definitely.
You’d be surprised if I told you I debate shutting down the Box, on a daily basis. It’s this pressure of life in general that makes me think such “horrible” things, these things that are both crazy and perfectly logical. Do I hear you tagging that as a crime against humanity? Nay, that is just my imagination.
Why I debate shutting down the Box, every single day, is quite a complicated deal. It is true that many a time I meet a very nice muse who guides me from darkness to light, and that this self same muse helps me generate the very interesting concept of the term “original content”, but I get bored of this muse quickly, too. Creating this blog was, in principle, a challenge of commitment, with what difficulties I face with the latter word and,now that I have reached the point I desired, this motivation is growing thinner by the minute.
I have had some people contacting me about the quality of my entries, and their content. Be their comments positive or negative, I thank them sincerely for slicing out some minutes of their days to voice their opinions, which I hold nothing but respect for. This said, I should have formed some alternative sources of motivation to keep the Box up and running. Maybe I have, I am not sure, maybe I just do not know it yet.
I believe the nicest part about this Box of mine is the chance it offers me to really pick my brains. This is a tedious task, rest assured, and it is time consuming. Particularly when you have two jobs, two projects,a family you wish to be with, friendships to maintain, languages to polish, study programs to search for, a cat to trick into a shower, a book to write, and yourself to worry about. I was reflecting on the frequency of posting, perhaps publishing an entry every other day, but that could absolutely murder my thoughts. My brains operate in a funny way that I do not expect others to understand, you see.
Sitting here, with my yellow blouse and pants, a detail you did not ask for, I am asking myself “Why am I telling the world all of these things?”. Good question. Because I can, and because I feel it is my readers’ right to be informed about the happenings in Tololy’s Box. I think I am not flattering myself when believing that there are some minds out there who enjoy reading some things I write at times, I think I would be endlessly honored if I found out that some smart and totally uncalled-for remark here or there made someone smile, and that is part of the reason why I made this Box public. I respect my readers, therefore I want them to learn what is going on in here.
This is such a depressing entry. I never intended it to be so, believe it or not. The answer could be “doing less”, and yet that seems very difficult. The other day I decided I wanted to cut down on the length of posts in the Box, but to satisfy my insatiable appetite for letters, I created UTN. So much for less work. Now I have two blogs to look after, it’s nobody fault, really, don’t blame it on anyone. The funny bit about UTN, in comparison with Tololy’s Box, is that the author over there never mentions this place. UTN is somewhat like the family secret everybody knows and yet nobody wants to talk about, but that’s what makes it special. I want it to be that way.
It is getting late, I should end this entry and, what better way to terminate it but by delivering mushy, yet very honest, thanks for the support from the supporters, and the demolition squad’s efforts to turn the Box into nothing but a wrinkled paper in a trash can. I am indebted to all of my readers, and the “my” is too posh, don’t you think?
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