Comments on: Jordanian culture: Jaha

By: Luai

Luai — Wed, 24 May 2006 15:55:24 +0000

I’ve been to three in Jordan, including one in Amman and one in a small village somewhere west of Irbid. I must say that having a former PM lead the Jaha in Amman was interesting. It was very big production, well organized and extremely coordinated. But I must say it was quick and to the point…and those who came a few minutes late missed and only got to enjoy the pastries. The smaller one, was very traditional and involved lots of the elders dressed in robes. Very interesting and a big difference than getting down on one knee :-)

I think for the most part everything is already agreed upon and the jaha is just for tradition. I personally don’t see the need for one….and I would rather just throw a dinner party for immediate family only.

Has anyone every heard of a refusal to "give" the daughter away? I’d be interested in hearing about those.

By: Pheras

Pheras — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 13:38:13 +0000

I’ve only been to one in my life, it was boring like any other family obligation I guess. But I’ve always wondered what would happen if let’s say the other party (the future bride’s side) rejects the groom’s side? Inno would they disappoint all that crowd of people? Or would the groom’s party only gather a Jaha only when they’ve been granted the bride’s consent?

By: Jordanian Bloggers: A Cultural Project? at The Black Iris of Jordan

Jordanian Bloggers: A Cultural Project? at The Black Iris of Jordan — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 11:05:47 +0000

[...] I’ve been reading with some great interest the latest entries over at Tololy’s Box on some of the most facinating aspects of our Jordanian culture and traditions. (you should give them a read) [...]

By: Ahmad Humeid

Ahmad Humeid — Sun, 02 Apr 2006 06:29:00 +0000

Thankfully, I got married without any kind of “Jaha”. I simply represented myself and went to vist my wife’s father. Before that, my family (as in my father and mother) did get acquainted with my wife’s family (as in her father and mother).

This whole overt connection between a person and his ‘tribe’s elders’ or ’society’s elders’ just sounds stifling to me.

By: KeKo

KeKo — Sun, 02 Apr 2006 03:46:00 +0000

Usually I love anything traditional, however Jaha’s in modern Amman have very little to do with tradition, in my experience at least.

There were two things I didn’t like in particular, firstly there is a very high level of showvanism in the whole thing, there is too much of ours should be bigger, more impressive that so and so.

The other part is practical, i went to one last summer (my cousins I am ashamed to say!) and I guess there were 300+, it was so pointless the thing was all over before everyone finished shaking hands.

So if someone wanted to have one, I suggest they adhere to the tradition and only have a few men 20 max 10 would even be better.

The whole thing about the bigger the Jaha the better is a ridiculous new invention, in the good old days, all you needed was a few wajihs and the idea was that this will show the brides family the groom is from a respected family and at worst he will not dare mistreat their daughter cause that will put these good men in bad light and he has a responsibly to them now,( ok this is very much an over simplification but I think the idea is clear.)

And pardon the rant.

By: Zaid Dodokh

Zaid Dodokh — Sat, 01 Apr 2006 16:57:00 +0000

Tololy …. ok nice idea ….

i`ll get the details from my father … and send them to you …. or maybe i`ll post them in my blog ….

anyway … iam going now to na3oor to get some documents about circassians from on of my relatives … i`ll post most of them in my blog ….

most of them are about tradetions

By: Linda

Linda — Sat, 01 Apr 2006 13:52:00 +0000

Toloy,

Wanted to let you know that many Jordanians who live in America still up hold this wonderful tradition. I and my siblings were born and raised in Los Angeles, and growing up going to cousisn weddings and all, i witnessed this wonderful tradition.

As well, when my sister got married, we had a jaha, a big one which was so very nice.

By: Tololy

Tololy — Sat, 01 Apr 2006 13:24:00 +0000

Devil’s Mind, I personally find it very very nice to see, or to receive, a big Jaha. It somehow reconnects me with my roots, seeing the old men who symbolize my culture and my family coming to give me away, and seeing a number of other old men from another family coming to ask for my hand. I cannot explain this further, but this is what a Jaha means to me: family and traditions.

Nas, wallahi the permalink thing is sort of jammed nowadays. But have no fears, we’re working on fixing that. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Zaid Dodokh, my friend, thank you for your input. We should compose an entry about Circassian Jaha soon, to compare it with the Jordanian version. That should be informative, don’t you think?

Samra, hello and welcome to Tololy’s Box. I value your comment greatly, you mentioned the songs I love to hear. I must dedicate an entry for those but I do not memorize them. I would always appreciate any help in this regard.

Again, welcome to my Box and enjoy your stay.

Hello Hattori Hanzo san, I do not have a clear answer for your question “what if it is the groom’s family that opposes the wedding?”. But as far as I know, a girl cannot “tokhtof” a man. It doesn’t work that way according to my information. Perhaps some readers would comment on that and would provide a more significant answer than mine, I would be much obliged for the help.

Reminder, Hattori Hanzo is asking about “Khteefeh” in the Circassian culture. In Jordanian traditions this custom is not familiar.

By: Hattori Hanzo

Hattori Hanzo — Sat, 01 Apr 2006 12:57:00 +0000

Hi,

I am not sure if the “jaha” is the equivelant to the grooms family going to the brides family to ask for her hand in marriage, which is what we do in Syria. Though, I am pretty sure that we do not have 60 people from each family. Thats 120 people!! wow! And we defenitely do not try to get prominent figures. It is usually the immediate family only.

I also read the Adiga Xabza post and I hope you do not mind me commenting on that here. I find it fascinating,ironic, and even sad that it is called “khteefeh”. Facsinating because it is way to go around the opposition. Ironic because everyone knows that it is going to happen. Sad because such things are staged in the name of tradition and to “preserve the honor”. I am all for keeping our traditions, but some parts of it are clearly outdated, at least to me. I hope I made some sense. I have a question: what if it is the grooms family that opposes? Can the bride “tokhtof” (kidnap) the groom?

I have heard of “khteefeh” in Syria, but I have only heard of it in cases when a muslim guy wants to marry a christian girl. I find it very sad that this is looked down upon.

Thank you

By: samra

samra — Sat, 01 Apr 2006 11:46:00 +0000

Interesting to find this here
With the mixing of old and new 6olbat jahaat 3a6waat…our traditions will soon become plays and nothing more.
Traditionally though the main people in the jaha are significant throughout the marriage of the couple, they are there for guidance and would get involved in any domestic problems, if a domestic problem is ever to leave the house it would go first to the Mokhtar who is usually the head of the Jaha.

One thing Ive noticed in some recent weddings as the older men die or are sadly cast away, people have been messing up the coffee scenario tradition by using it AGAIN on the wedding day.On the wedding day the Jaha comes and asks for their Amaneh, their bride, who was previously given away to Jahet el 6olbeh. The head of the grooms Jaha expresses how honored they are with their new Nasab and how the bride will be cherished and become their own daughter, and the head of the brides Jaha gives his own speech Ive heard nice ones along the lines of how they give away a treasured daughter for their new nasab

I love how all details of the marriage tradition are tied together in the songs on the wedding day.
The jaha of women are as important on the wedding day to time the zaghareet and make the grand entrance to where the bride is singing ???? ????? ????? ?? ???? ??? ??? ??????? ????? ????…… getting the bride out of the house with ???? ????? ???? ????? ?? ???? ..????? ?????? ???? ????? ????? (it references 3abayet el khal wil 3am tradition .and existing with ???? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ????? ??? ?????? ???? ???? and yekhlef 3alaikoo kathar allah khaaaaairkoooo :D