The answer is simple; it’s because devoted Jordan Planet commentator Kinzi Jones has written a feature on six female Jordanian bloggers in April’s issue: Khalidah, Lina, Natasha, Roba, Salam, and yours truly.

I got my copy just today through my sister, whose office is not located in the desert, unlike mine. The ladies look marvelous, and the written text is a joy to read.

It’s lovely to see the feminine side of the blogosphere covered in such a way, I say keep the coverage alive. It was particularly interesting to see the unique traits that distinguish each lady-blogger from the other, and to explore some new information about each. On top of all that, meeting Kinzi was a true privilege that I personally am honored to have obtained.

On to my personal reflections on the whole affair, I decided to design a FAQ section to be posted in this entry exclusively treating my appearance in the magazine, and answering the many questions I had to take in today.

Q. Why does the position of your hand on the laptop look so awkward?
A. That’s the “disgusted” way I type. I get slandered for it all the time.

Q. When did you get a laptop?
A. I didn’t. This laptop was brought in for photo shoot purposes only.

Q. What book is that on the table?
A. “The Three Theban Plays” by Sophocles.

Q. Why aren’t you looking at the camera, while all the other ladies are?
A. I wasn’t asked to, and I would like to stress that the pose was not fabricated by me to look any of the following: serious, mean, angelic, or asleep. The photographer took only three shots of me, and was interrupted by the guard at the location prohibiting him from further completing his job because he had not acquired permission to shoot in that location. A terrible surprise for me, naturally, to put things diplomatically. There was supposed to be another appointment set for a proper, look-me-in-the-eye picture, but the proposal was never brought to consummation, hence the I’m-typing-go-away picture we can all enjoy.

Q. Do you like it?
A. Yes. After all, when I type things I generally look at what I am typing and reflect on it, much like in the shot. Come what may, my parents love the poise, and so does my lady-boss. I have to hand it in to the photographer, he really did a good job.

I should bring this entry to an end before my twisted sense of humor gets too exposed, then there’s no concealing it. A note on the side, I do not own a scanner so I had to take a picture of this page,kindly forgive any imperfections you may find.

Spesso il male di vivere ho incontrato:
era il rivo strozzato che gorgoglia,
era l’incartocciarsi della foglia
riarsa, era il cavallo stramazzato.

Bene non seppi; fuori del prodigio
che schiude la divina Indifferenza:
era la statua nella sonnolenza
del meriggio, e la nuvola, e il falco alto levato.

After testing my muse for inspiration, I was left with this. There’s more emotion in it than skillful storytelling, that I know, and it needs more work.

She worshipped him and kept it to herself. Now she wonders if she was mistaken to have met him in the first place; her senior of 15 years. The way he treated her made her feel like a perfect blossom of a lady at 18, his attention to details, his saying the most right things at the right time; that was all too much to take into her little heart without infecting it with infatuation.

Meeting him night and day just to hear those sweet, sweet words and to be with him no matter what his moods were was her religion. Listening to his manly voice over the phone for hours on end, trying to change his crooked ways. She was a kid at heart despite all her attempts at pretending she can cope with mature wordplay and despite her attempts at growing up instantly to match his experience.

The chocolate box, the nice little gifts, and his care. She was too young to realize…

And she thought he loved her too every time he said she’s gorgeous, and when he took her in his arms. At any rate, she thought, this would be something to remember. That she, alone, enchanted the heart of a man at 18. Such testimony of her power!

But then he left as he said he would, the six months ended, and she cried so hard that night. She finally realized she had attached herself to this idol, and she woke her friend up and cried to her on the phone: “I love him”. But he was gone and there was no bringing him back.

Never did he promise to stay.

So much pain and pleasure come from experience, and I have decided to share my personal experience with shopping for nose jewelry with my readership. This may not interest many people, but it could help some others make better choices while trying to find the right sparkling object to adorn their nostrils.

Generally speaking, nose bones or nose studs are the commonest. They are probably the only variety we have here in Jordan, which is an upsetting fact. But putting that aside, when shopping for a nose stud, make sure the bar is straight and make sure to know what length you are looking for. If you do not know this exactly, take a sample with you (Your old nose stud, for example). In addition to that, do check if the stud has a small ball at the end of the bar. This ball is very important; it keeps your jewelry from falling right out of your nostril every time you sneeze. But be careful, you don’t want it to be so big so as to cause some real pain when you insert or remove the jewelry. Trust me on this one. I recommend this type if you’d just gotten your piercing, it’s easy to maneuver.

Do not, ever, buy cheap nose jewelry. By cheap I mean jewelry made of God-knows-what metals. Always stick to gold (yellow or white), platinum, silver, or titanium. These metals are the safest; they would not cause you any infections or problems. Remember: you are not rich enough to afford cheap things.

There are also nose screws, which have a straight bar right after the gem and then a curve. Those can be adjusted to fit properly, but they generally come in standard form. I once got some of these and couldn’t really work them so I returned the set to the shop and got a better deal.

The current jewelry I wear is very practical. It is a nose fishtail with a longish bar, and no ball at the end. The way to insert this is a bit tricky and similar to nose screws, you twist the bar into the shape you want ( the shape of the letter L ) and bear in mind the proportions of your nostril. It takes some practice but when it works, it works magic and you don’t feel it. I would recommend this type to more experienced individuals.

And, of course, there are nose rings. The splendid thin, round metals come with a bead or a ball at one end so you would be able to close them. My personal favorite type, but I haven’t as yet found what I am looking for. You should check the gauge of the ring before buying it; there’s no use buying a ring that is too thick to move freely or one too slim.

Pages that might help the curious:

I am an average person but soon I will be gone.

This is a thought that haunts me night and day. Whatever will happen to me, and the many many likes of me, when the final and ruling word has been spoken in Jordan, separating its people into two distinctive straits?

Try buying a car. Assuming the original price of the vehicle is 6,000 JD, you would be compelled to put in a rough estimate of 9,000 JD for customs. Add around 1,000 for registration and you will be paying 16,000 JD for an item that really costs 6,000. That’s almost triple the original value and for some reason I am missing the jest.

Try buying a 32 JD mobile card, and you will be forced to actually pay 37 JD. The extra five are the face of the all-famous-budget-munching-16%-sales tax.

Try buying clothes. Not only do you hardly find something that doesn’t have an opening somewhere (a must-have) or a see-through-me nature, as if nobody in Jordan wants to really wear something, but you will also have to pay a minimum of 20 JD for a pair of pants. Quality not guaranteed, mind you, and you will have to do with more than one pair of pants, won’t you? Some math, let’s say you want to buy a nice outfit comprised of three pieces: pants, shirt, shoes. And let’s pretend you land yourself a good deal and get each item for around 20 JD, that’s a total of 60 JD for the wardrobe.

Now imagine you had to live on a 200 JD salary.

Try filling up the car. That’s about 50 JD a month if you’re out and about every day. If you don’t have a car, try using taxis to take you places. That’s a minimum of 1 JD per drive, by 2-3 drives each day on the length of a month, and you got yourself an amazing 90 JD every month for transportation. And I am not even inflating anything.

Try going out, for a change. You will have to dig in that fat purse of yours (and we know it’s full of business cards) to produce at least 30 JD for a decent lunch for two. Try going out three times a month and you’ll pay for it dearly: 90 JD. Too much? Go to cheaper places, you’ll still invest too much in food and company.

Try it again now. Imagine you had to live on a 200 JD salary.

The most upsetting reactions one gets when making this argument are the suggestions not to “live large”. To those comments I would like to say: hello? When was buying decent clothes, seeing friends, and getting around town to go to work “large”? Or is that just your way of dismissing the problem? It won’t do.

People are entitled to live decently. I would imagine minimum decency requirements include living a normal life, like normal people.

One of the commonest sights to see in the humbler parts of Amman, and in Jordan generally is roadside open-air shops selling food or pottery. The people who set these sorts of shops are usually people who cannot afford to rent a location to showcase their goods, so they opt for the roadside. It is true that this practice is not entirely legal or safe but the truth of the situation has it that it exists, and that I am writing about it all the same.

I took the pictures in this entry on my way back from Salt city just outside Amman the past month, when my mother stopped to examine the roadside merchandise. This roadside vendor specialised in selling raw foods, such as dried figs, honey, raisins, and so on.

As rule of thumb, items sold by the roadside are cheaper than those sold in concrete shops, for obvious reasons. This is an advantage these vendors enjoy but with the laws getting stricter each day I believe they don’t stand much chance to run on forever.

A final note, If you arrive to such a “shop” in an expensive car, you might expect to be charged a bit more on the items you buy. That’s how flexible the roadside market is, and it requires of you to be equally flexible. Bargain, bargain, and then bargain some more.

PuzzleMania

Originally uploaded by Tololy Tutunai.

It’s play time!

Care for , just a suggestion here, a 1000-piece-Cat-Mania-50×70cm puzzle to wear the day away?

I have spent around 15 hours so far on this 10$ passtime, now I am thinking of calling the manufacturers for some compensation of some sort. Do not smile, I don’t mean to entertain you.

A popular saying goes “ The early bird gets the worm”, and is used mainly during morning hour sales and such, and trusted as a bible by most employers.

The wisdom behind having to arouse all your employees at approximately 7 AM, when you do not own a stock market of some sort and when you do not have affairs to conclude in areas differing with yours in time, alludes me.

One can hardly think of ways in which an employee still struggling with removing himself from his dreams can function well and produce in the benefit of the job. Certainly this is not to negate one of life’s humblest facts; that there are indeed people who perform well in the morning. But it is also not to neglect another fact that giving people an extra 30 minutes of slumber may boost their productivity to the delight of their managers.

There is no lazier an image than that of a half-sleeping worker exerting obvious effort to concentrate on getting his first task done. No worms, none for the worker, and none for the company.