Yes. It is the Era of Movie Reviews here at Tololy’s Box. Popcorn and coke for the critic, per favore.

I came upon the good fortune of having a sister who knew someone who had a pirated copy of 300, the movie about the Greco-Persian war. So I watched the movie with my sister two nights ago and, to make this review even more worthy of your attention, I watched 300 again last night because again I was lucky enough to have a brother who got another pirated copy of the same film.

Theatrics and difficult English aside, the movie was horrible. It lacked edge, it lacked proper build-up, and the dialogue was sickeningly cheesy. This was no epic movie (I know it is based on a graphic novel, yada yada), this was a joke.

The highlight of 300 was, however, the Persian god-king Xerxes. What an exotic, statuesque figure! What marvels he had in his private chambers on the battlefield! This moment of admiration gone, the movie did feature way too many sculptured abdomens. The irony here is that the six-packs did not make it any more interesting.

My rating of 300 is that it is a “bleh movie.” For additional enjoyment, click here to watch a montage of the “Gayest. Movie. Ever.”

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