300: What a Load of Crap!
Yes. It is the Era of Movie Reviews here at Tololy’s Box. Popcorn and coke for the critic, per favore.
I came upon the good fortune of having a sister who knew someone who had a pirated copy of 300, the movie about the Greco-Persian war. So I watched the movie with my sister two nights ago and, to make this review even more worthy of your attention, I watched 300 again last night because again I was lucky enough to have a brother who got another pirated copy of the same film.
Theatrics and difficult English aside, the movie was horrible. It lacked edge, it lacked proper build-up, and the dialogue was sickeningly cheesy. This was no epic movie (I know it is based on a graphic novel, yada yada), this was a joke.
The highlight of 300 was, however, the Persian god-king Xerxes. What an exotic, statuesque figure! What marvels he had in his private chambers on the battlefield! This moment of admiration gone, the movie did feature way too many sculptured abdomens. The irony here is that the six-packs did not make it any more interesting.
My rating of 300 is that it is a “bleh movie.” For additional enjoyment, click here to watch a montage of the “Gayest. Movie. Ever.”
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Related Posts
- Elizabeth: The Golden, Manless Age
- Movie Time
- The Lists
- Did Hannibal Really Rise?
- Can’t Write So I Made A Movie

April 6th, 2007 at 1:04 am
lol I totally agree with you! I wrote about it on my blog, you know I think some guys liked it only because of the supposedly high quality graphics and the blood shed.
April 6th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
With you and Shaden BOTH voting no, I will be hesitant to even sneek a rented copy out of Plaza Video for fear I might be seen by a blogger!
April 7th, 2007 at 12:31 am
I was so ofended watching it, so not accurate and the way Persians were portrait was really bad. As a movie, well, corny to my taste.
April 7th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
<p>i watch it ona 22 LCD TV with a huge sound system :D</p>
<p>i dont know a lot about history stuffs but for the sound effects and the graphics i give it 10/10 </p>
April 9th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
I’ve haven’t seen the movie and don’t know if I will anytime soon. Hollywood has put out so few worthwhile flicks over the last few years that I’m not terribly enthusiastic about new releases.<br /><br />Still, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Thermopylae">Battle of Thermopylae</a> was one of the most remarkable battles in history. The Spartans put up an amazing defense. The Persians may have won the battle but the Spartans kicked ass. What the Spartans did on land, the Athenians were later able to do at sea. They outmanuevered and outwitted a numerically superior Persian fleet in the <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Salamis">Battle of Salamis.</a> In fact, this battle was far more important in changing the course of the Greco-Persian war than Thermopylae.<br /><br />It is a fortunate thing too. Had the Persians won, had Greece fallen, the history of the western world may have been significantly altered. Judging by the intellectually unproductive centuries Persia experienced after Thermopylae and Salamis, it would not have been for the better. Ancient Greece was a small country, but its achievements still shine brightly today. Xerxes’ ancient empire, vast as it was in its day, provided little for future generations to reflect upon.<br />
April 9th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
I, too, didn’t really care for the movie. All the characters spoke in platitudes and clichés, and I had too much trouble believing that <span style="font-style: italic;">that many Mediterranean dudes would have that little chest hair</span>! Also, I felt a burning desire to go to the gym afterwards– who says guys’ self-images aren’t affected by mass media?<br /><br />From a filmmaking standpoint, though, it was a triumphant marriage of the technical: it looked like a moving painting but story-wise it just didn’t happen for me.<br />