You know how people always say that they “can’t feel their legs” when they’re really tired? That is total inaccurate rubbish because the only time you can feel your legs is when you’re very tired. Today I got to feel a lot, knee down, and my legs have disowned me so now my ears and my legs have a different last name.

I spent the day walking and I never knew I could walk this much. I never knew I liked documenting my life this much. You see, I go places to take pictures to document that I was in these places. I don’t even pay attention to where I am or look and admire the places I go to; I just take pictures. I go home and look at the pictures and go Ahh, SWEET! and Look! Two people making out! . I am miserable this way because I don’t understand time and so I don’t believe what’s going on around me until it has passed already. You probably have more issues than I do though, because you’re reading about mine and enjoying it.

Got a screw in my head,
Diddy diddy diddy
– dead.

The weather today was very hot. It was also very humid because of all the sweat and other bodily liquids trapped in the air. I went to the National Museum of Air & Space and to the National Museum of Natural History. Those are the two museums I wanted to go to and had the time to visit. Although I did want to go to some woman-related museums in the area, but there was no time for that.

My tour inside the two museums was very exciting and informative. I’ve always wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History, ever since I was a nerdy kid reading encyclopedias for fun, so it was a great dream come true to be there for real. A Night at The Museum was a bad movie though and anyone who thinks otherwise has an infertile imagination crossed with no sense of humor. I only watched it because the alternative was a contemporary Egyptian “comedy” which is polite for “nonsense.”

After the museums, I went to the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, Reflecting Pool, WW I Memorial, WW II Memorial, Korean War Veterans Memorial, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, and the Smithsonian Castle. I passed by the Pentagon and Arlington National Cemetery, and also by many federal buildings while moving within or around the National Mall. As usual, you can see pictures of everything I saw today in my Picasa - Washington DC album.

I walked to and from all these places, if you can imagine that. It was exhausting to walk that much in the heat. And to make things worse, my ankle-length sock slipped down my shoe and my shoe cut my foot and my foot hurt really bad throughout the final part of the day. I kept walking funny like I needed to go to the restroom. Do you know how embarrassing it is to cross the street looking like you want to take a leak by the nearest tree, doggy-style, when you really are in so much pain you don’t even care how embarrassed you are?

Pretty embarrassing. And painful.

This is the third time one of my feet gets cut on the back of the ankle during my stay in the states, do you think it’s a sign? If so, what is it a sign of? What are my feet, socks, or shoes trying to tell me?

Any of a number of things:

1- Go footnude forever.
2- Buy new socks.
3- Go back to Jordan.
4- Blank (readers’ input).

What do you think it is?

Why do people always say that Washington DC is crazy expensive? It’s not! From what I’ve noticed, NYC is a lot more expensive (add to that the non-smiling, detached people and you get a really bitter package,) and by comparison, DC people are a really pleasant lot.

Sure I’m not here to shop because what am I going to buy from DC anyway?, but souvenirs for instance are so much cheaper than in NYC. Discovering that made me very happy. Also, all sightseeing is basically for free unless I want to go to some fancy shmancy places, which I don’t. And even if I wanted to, Bush will pay for it. Now you guess which Bush will.

Sorry — had to say that.

DC means a lot to me because I passed my American Politics class with great difficulty. Not because I am dumb or anything, mind you, but because the class was taught by a microbe, or a bunch of microbes taking the shape of a person. And speaking of metaphors, I am a camel of sorts. I hold grudges, yes I’m imperfect like that, and I use sarcasm on my enemies. Off-topic now, am I not?

Where was I?

Ah, Washington, DC. It’s a clean, neat, peaceful little place that a lot of homeless people and politicians call home. What do homeless people and politicians have in common, you ask. They’re both people, obviously, and they both represent deeply-rooted socially glorified dysfunctions like alcoholicism and lies. God bless you, that’s what they both say when you give them money, then they turn around and grab the next pocket and you feel all happy inside because you supported some cause of some sort: elimination of poverty, public education, the terrorist war on terrorism…

DC is full of African-American people. It’s also full of people who like to run around that stinking water body with loads of ducks in front of the Grant Memorial. Today I saw a herd of 30 guys and girls running around half naked and going in circles around that pool. Their bodies looked perfect to me. I just think they were high on duck fart.

What a strange post this is! This is like my stream of consciousness, this is how I like to write. The reason for the “particular nature” of this post is that I am currently reading Craig Ferguson’s novel and I am profoundly impressed by how similar his thoughts are to mine. His style of writing is also pretty similar to mine, if I didn’t fear for my reputation and wrote anonymously, as I am not really anonymous writing under the name Tololy. But I have done a lot of thinking and concluded that not many kids read this blog anyway so I should go right ahead and write like I truly want to write.

Read only if you’re 18+, otherwise don’t tell your parents you’re here.

I understand the risks involved but I have decided to liberate my writing of all the properness and the fearing for people’s feelings if I used words like I use everyday like slutty and sod off and, sorry Arabic readers but I use the word teez a lot in real life and I don’t think it’s 3aib, and the like. It’s no good being machine-like, it doesn’t mesh with being alive.

Realize though that it will be considerably difficult for me to stick to this decision simply because I have been writing proper for publication in this blog for a longish time. I will always be true to what I think, only more bluntly than before, and I sincerely apologize if this change of style offends you or anyone you know. It’s more personal than political, honestly.

One day I will read my posts and watch my birth.

Maybe I can make a short movie about it.

Oh woman I think my stats will die.

What do you think?

From Washington, DC

I am still in the WOW phase. I am in awe of the Gods of Travel who have shown me nothing but awesomeness in this North American tour. I speak from the bottom of my bottomless heart as I solemnly pronounce this prayer:

Travel Gods, creators of all travel destinations and attractions, bringers of massive fun, I beseech you for more good weather and unexpected sightseeing. Flood me with your good graces as you have since I embarked on this journey. All hail Travel Gods. Amen.

I returned to New York two days ago and I have almost recovered from the state of intense fatigue that I caught in Canada. The trip home took me two days and I slept in a cheap motel right off the Canadian border. It was such an intense, physically demanding adventure and I loved it.

So, tomorrow today I am leaving to Washington D.C. for a bogus top secret meeting in the White House. Speaking of which, I just remembered a smart T-shirt that I didn’t buy the other day:

Here I come…

I won’t be writing about my trip to Canada anymore because I am being stalked by a moose that I kissed in the CN Tower. He wants his money back.

I am mooseless museless and someone has to pay for it. I decided that it will be your sense of taste, because you are about to watch yet another pointless short movie of mine.

Just you wait, Martin Scorsese…

My time in Canada has been packed with activities; be they meeting cousins for the first time, shopping like mad, learning about family politics, exploring Toronto, going sightseeing, or eating and lazying around. All in all, this week was truly spectacular and I loved it to bits. All this fun is bound to end though as I think I will be heading back to NY pretty soon.

On my first day here, I went to a flea market where I saw quite interesting collections of absolutely useless but very affordable items. Then I had ice cream and went to a real mall where I discovered that no, Canada is not cheaper than the United States. I was super bummed of course. I also went to a beautiful park in the evening…

On the second day, I went to the CN Tower which has held the record of being the tallest structure in the world for 30 straight years. Sadly though, I think I caught the very last hours of its being the tallest structure because right now in Dubai a gigantic structure is being erected and it probably, said the guide, topped the CN Tower already. The Dubai body is not even finished yet, imagine that!

While in the CN Tower, I got to take awesome pictures of Toronto and I also got to stand/play on the famous Glass Floor. This is basically a section where the floor is made of glass and you can look down and see Toronto right under your feet. It’s fun:

After the CN Tower, I went for a walk in downtown Toronto and bargained my way into buying charcoal portraits. My favorite one is a parody of The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci, featuring classical TV and movie mafiosi — from Michael Corleone to Tony Soprano — playing Jesus and the Apostles. I kid you not, this piece is priceless. I wouldn’t sell it or give it away even if someone chopped off their fingers and offered them to me. I’d say thanks, but no thanks.

That sums up my first two days in Canada. Unfortunately for those of you with ridiculously fast internet connections, I cannot upload more pictures from my Picasa to this blog at this time. Other people have complained about the loading time of Tololy’s Box and I don’t want the pictures to be reader repellent so please visit my Picasa “Canada” album for more pictures on everything I write about.

I will write more soon so stay tuned!

On my way to Toronto, right before the Canadian border, I stopped in a rest area to grab a bite. This was on Saturday earlier this week. The minute I got off the car, I noticed something jumping in the grass and I instinctively caught it. It was a tiny frog that I now call Prince Charming:

As a child, I always caught fat frogs in our family farm in Jordan. I remember that one day, in the garden around our Karaki house, I caught a really fat frog and I think I might have squeezed him too much and he peed on me. That was hilarious!

This little fellow though was quite friendly…

Expect more posts about my Canadian trip very soon. I have time on my hands now and I can write. In the meantime, how have you been?