I think I have a brain tumor.

I have no medical evidence to support this theory but I have two elements upon which I base it: firstly, I am melodramatic and my having a brain tumor would be very poetic, and secondly, I have earth-shattering headaches frequently.

I have had these headaches for years now. They come unexpectedly and last for long hours, sometimes a whole day, and are unaffected by painkillers. When they are at their most severe; they are paralyzing. One or both of my eyes hurt and I feel overwhelmingly nauseous and I simply cannot function. I can’t read, I can’t work, I can’t talk, I can’t do any activity other than being absorbed in pain.

My headaches happen twice a week on average, and they affect my life to a substantial degree. I’m often forced to leave work, abandon class, or abort outings because of them. Yet despite all this, I never seriously considered something was wrong.
The moment of epiphany came when I noticed that, Oh, nobody else seems to have this problem. Nobody around me has this many headaches or has them this severely. That realization was not pleasant.

Urged by my mother and friends, I went to a doctor a few months ago. She said the headaches were stress-related and that there was nothing to worry about. All she did was ask me a couple of questions and pronto! Her diagnosis was ready. Now I have reached the conclusion that she might have been clueless and so I plan to visit another doctor…one day.

I’m extremely laid back and unannoyed by this, dare I call it, illness. I’m not sure why I don’t seem to take it seriously enough when it could be very serious. I probably imagine that if, indeed, I prove to actually have a brain tumor then it would be a martyr-type condition and would perhaps be fruitful in a way. Maybe realizing I don’t have much time left would push me into this sublime artistic state that would, in turn, have me write my stories down already.

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