Younger Is Better: Early Marriages in Jordan
I was just doing my morning news round and I came across an important article in Al Rai newspaper. The article treats the subject of early marriage in Jordan, and why it will sap this country of its riches.
According to Jordanian law, the legal marriage age is 18, which is reasonable. But there is a special clause that basically says that a judge has the authority to marry off a 15 year-old girl whenever he sees fit, or when he sees that the marriage will be for her own good. Of course, a religious judge (which is the type of judges that does marriage procedures) or a Sheikh authorized to write the marriage contract (el ktab) seldom if ever object to marrying off an underage girl. I say this because I have heard from my mother, time and again, how the Sheikh married this girl or that girl although she was only 15-16. Beddo yostor 3aleeha, i.e. he believes he is doing good and preserving her honor (followers of this logic believe that a woman is a scandal waiting to happen).
Al Rai article details the health, financial, and psychological consequences for young marriages and criticizes the legal exception granted to judges to marry off underage girls. In essence, the exception annihilates the actual law, because like I mentioned, very few judges or Sheikhs would object to underage marriages because according to their religious views; they are saving society from the evils of adultery. Never mind the fact that they are helping perpetuate gender inequality and tens of social dysfunctions, not to mention literally endangering the girls’ healths and education and characters by marrying them off to, dare I say this, pedophiles who hunt young brides to “mould them” into the submissive wife-maids they wish. Never mind all that, they are saving society.
According to the article, the percentage of underage marriages is 14%, which translates to 7598 marriages. That is inaccurate, because judges and Sheikhs when they draft up the marriage contracts do NOT put the actual ages of the girls when they are underage, they simply write 18! So that 14% is only what got reported, but not the actual percentage.
Jordan has one million girls under the age of 15, who are alive right now. I did the math; this means that 140,000 girls between the ages of 15-18 WILL get married within the next 15-18 years. That is a huge number! Let’s assume that each one of these girls will only deliver three babies, that makes it 420,000 babies IN ADDITION to the other births from legal marriages. Naturally, the men who marry underage girls do not only want three babies. They want five, six, maybe more, and their child-wives are fertile enough to keep on popping kids for 15 years. And don’t forget, 14% is not the actual percentage of underage marriages in our society.
Can you imagine what will happen to the population of Jordan at this rate? Can you imagine the health bill that will come out of the birth complications and other child-related problems? Can you imagine the thousands of children who will be born to semi-illiterate mothers, what will become of them? Can you imagine what will happen when Almighty Daddy can’t take care of his dozen children?
He will marry off the girls at 15.
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January 24th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Tololy, this is, hands down, one of my favourite posts for you ever, if not THE favourite. <br /><br />"Can you imagine the thousands of children who will be born to
semi-illiterate mothers, what will become of them? Can you imagine what
will happen when Almighty Daddy can’t take care of his dozen children?
<p>He will marry off the girls at 15."</p><br />
<p></p>GOLD.<br />
January 24th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
<span style="font-style: italic;">"dare I say this, </span><em style="font-style: italic;">pedophiles</em><span style="font-style: italic;"> who hunt young brides to “mould them” into the submissive wife-maids they wish."</span><br /><br />While I agree with pretty much everything you said, this part was a bit of a leap. Pedophilia is something that is medically diagnosed and to suggest that anyone who marries a 16 year old girl is a pedophile is kind of absurd considering that the overwhelming majority of our grandfathers and great grandfathers (many of whom are still around today) married our grandmothers and great grandmothers when they were below the age of 18.<br /><br />To say nothing of the Prophet (pbuh).<br /><br />I believe the age of marriage should be a reflection of where biological adherence meets social maturity. Less than a century ago, 16 year old girls were raising a household, today, 25 year old women can hardly manage that sometimes. <br /><br />just a thought.<br /><br />thanks for the article tololy<br />
January 24th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Tololy, classic! Well said: "followers of this logic believe that a woman is a scandal waiting to happen". Ya lateef mazbuut!<br /><br />This is another one…. :).
January 24th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Tololy, allow me to disappoint you. What you and the article conclude is WRONG, and it’s easy to see how women automatically react to this as being one of women’s rights.</p>
<p>We’ll it’s WRONG, because this is not an attribute of the Arab societies (alone). In fact, I know MANY Americans who got married before they were 18. It’s completely allowed if the parents allow it. So why is it so taboo for Arab societies and OK for Americans? The age of marriage in the US is 18, but anyone above the age of 15.5 is allowed to get married with parent’s permission. (I am particularly familiar with this law because 4 of my friends are Mormon and they all got married and had kids before they were 20)</p>
<p>By the way, the law is also for men and women. So marriage age for males is also 18 but the judge can make an exception</p>
<p>Then you draw another conclusion that they will have a huge number of kids… Well, maybe, maybe not. No body knows if she will out-pop the 18 year old in the next tent, but that’s a whole other matter</p>
January 24th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Qwaider, now you allow me to disappoint <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span>. <br /><br />What me and the article conclude is backed up by numbers, published statistics that everyone has access to. What you say in your comment about the "MANY Americans that you know," who are in fact FOUR MORMONS, is ridiculous. I can’t even believe you based your argument on the experiences of your four Mormon friends and then generalized.<br /><br />My second point is this: the article is about Jordan, which is a country that is full of Jordanians, and not Americans. I don’t understand the incessant need that possessed you to indicate the marriage customs of Americans, and flasely so, when I and the article were talking about JORDANIANS.<br /><br />That one right there just baffles me.<br /><br />I would have liked it if you actually argued against the points made in my post and in the article I cited, instead of generalizing and comparing when the two are out of place. <br /><br />Why didn’t you argue against the fact that most underage wives have health and birth complications? Why didn’t you argue against the fact that 14% is a high rate for underage marriages in a country as small as Jordan? Why didn’t you say anything about the Sheikhs who legalize these marriages? Why didn’t you comment on the financial and social and educational difficulties that challenege underage marriages?<br /><br />I don’t know, but you could have made some sense if you had done any of that and backed it up with solid evidence. But you didn’t, so there.<br /><br />Finally, I did not draw a conclusion about the number of kids. I clearly used the words "let’s ASSUME," and I made a calculation based on the information presented in the article (and not my friends) to demonstrate the dimensions of the problem. <br /><br />It is true that the law is for men and women, but the truth is, women are the ones who suffer because of it. How many boys do you know get married when they’re 15? *insert Qwaider statistic here*<br /><br /><br />
January 24th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I got married at 14 and i am american muslim .
January 24th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
<p>Well tololy, you’re wrong again</p>
<p>What I stated is that the same law is available else where in the "civilized" world. Do you need statistics for that or just the fact that it exists? </p>
<p>How did you know that a woman who is above the age of 16 going to suffer health related issues? how absurd is that! You’re talking about a woman in her most fertile, strongest period of her life.</p>
<p>As long as the law is for men and women, it’s fair enough to say the following</p>
<p>1) The girl has accepted</p>
<p>2) Her parents have accepted</p>
<p>3) The judge has accepted</p>
<p>If all of these are okay with it. What exactly are you arguing about? You want a law AGAINST these marriages? But there is no such law even in the western world!</p>
<p>Do you need a statistics to just argue more?</p>
<p>Yes, there are social, economical implications. Yes there is a burden on the whole society due to these underage marriages. But there’s no way any sane person can propose to stop them</p>
<p>Most importantly you question the integrity of the judges, so you have automatically branded them as being corrupt and anti women. So who’s generalizing now?</p>
January 24th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
<p>Oh and one more thing</p>
<p>The report indicates that these numbers 13.3% to be exact is for Males AND females. so there’s a possibility of BOTH being under 18</p>
<p>I will not argue for a moment that more girls are actually in that category than guys. But that means that your little calculation above… is incorrect</p>
<p>Of course no one is there to say how devastating this is for males! Can you imagine what getting married at the age of 17 would do to a guy?</p>
<p>Of all this stuff going back and forth allow me to say something..</p>
<p>I personally think these juvenile marriages are wrong. I don’t think people are ready to get married by that age. That’s what I personally feel but I said PEOPLE, not women. I hate to discriminate like that.</p>
January 24th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Toloy…<br />We all agree. that the social impact of having an underage FATHERs and mothers is huge…<br /><br />but Toloy <br />
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal">You are generalizing <span style="">that every
Judge who document the marriage is doing it because of the mentality that says (Girl
is a scandal waiting to happen)…. And this is a dangerous generalization, and a
WRONG one…<o:p _moz-userdefined="" /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">And I am not denying that some people
in our society have such mentality, but there are others doing it for multiple
reasons… <o:p _moz-userdefined="" /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Tololy…<o:p _moz-userdefined="" /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">in your article you are revealing
a problem, but you are blaming the judges only… and you are not offering a solution<o:p _moz-userdefined="" /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">also you forgot that the judge in
only doing his Job…<o:p _moz-userdefined="" />based on the Girl’s relatives well….<o:p _moz-userdefined=""> </o:p>As well as ( and this is the most dangerous)
the Groom’s and His Folks well…<o:p _moz-userdefined="" /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">In my personal opinion, if want to
blame someone… we have to blame the Groom in the first place…That happy guy who
is marrying an underage kid…<o:p _moz-userdefined="" /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">And the mentality of our society
that says (Betrabeeha 3ala edak)…<o:p _moz-userdefined="" /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Not just the judges or the girl’s
father… <br /></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed;" dir="ltr" class="MsoNormal"></p><br />
January 24th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
<p>You know I was reading more into this and it appears to be a worldwide issue. Greater than the confines of Jordan</p>
<p>Did you know that some states in the US Allow 12 year old girls to get married? In this day and age!</p>
<p>In the US, between unplanned teen pregnancies and barely teen marriages the rates rival those in Jordan.</p>
<p>Is there a way to stop this? I guess, education and awareness for the parents and the children. Now more than ever..</p>
<p>Is it possible to take back some of what I said?</p>
January 24th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Go get em, Tololy :)<br /><br />Qwaidar,<br /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span class="commentBody" style="font-style: italic;"><span id="comment-33871">What I stated is
that the same law is available else where in the "civilized" world. Do
you need statistics for that or just the fact that it exists?<br /><br /></span></span><span class="commentBody"><span id="comment-33871">The only underage marriages I’m aware of here in the US were only permitted because a teenage girl got pregnant, and married the father of her baby. I’d venture a guess that if you actually check the stats, that virtually all underage marriages in the US fall into that category. If that isn’t the case in Jordan, then you are arguing apples and oranges.</span></span><span class="commentBody" style="font-style: italic;"><span id="comment-33871"><br /></span></span>
January 24th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
<p>Craig, I was researching all of this stuff this morning, allow m to share my findings. Please feel free to double check them.</p>
<p>It used to be 50% of all underage marriages are due to teen pregnancies like 30 years ago. However, that number has dropped to 16%. Which makes the whole majority of 84% fall under regular marriage. </p>
<p>However, there’s a difference in the way marriage is happening. You see, in the US teen marriages happen for love, while in the western world it’s mostly for, everything else. Love -may- come after marriage</p>
<p>It seems tololy stopped answering, which is an indication that she’s upset with the whole argument. For that I apologize, I didn’t mean to upset you tololy, but I do want to point out that you are blaming it on men and judges. While the issue is more like an epidemic at the social level, and not necessarily male only</p>
<p>Sorry if I annoyed you</p>
January 24th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Hi Qwaidar,<br /><span class="commentBody"><span id="comment-33878">
<p style="font-style: italic;">Craig, I was researching all of this stuff this morning, allow m to share my findings. Please feel free to double check them.</p>I’ll treat everything you say as statistical fact, because I don’t have time this morning to do my own research :)<br style="font-style: italic;" />
<p><span style="font-style: italic;">It used to be 50% of all underage marriages are due to teen
pregnancies like 30 years ago. However, that number has dropped to 16%.
Which makes the whole majority of 84% fall under regular marriage.</span></p>
<p>I think there are some factors you aren’t taking into consideration. Abortion was illegal unil…1974 wasn’t it? And it was socially unacceptable for many years, even after it was legalized. It wasn’t until the late 1980s that abortion became what amounts to a form of "birth control". Teenage pregnancy isn’t the issue it used to be. Teenage marriages are much rarer than they used to be, as a result. So while your stats may be correct, you are also looking at an extremely small and unrepresentative sampling of the US population.</p>
<p>The average age that people marry in teh US has been creeping upwards for decades. My mother was 20 years old when I was born, and I was her second child. My Father was 22 at the time. I was 30 years old when I got married, and my wife was 32. The age that my parents married was about average for their generation, and the age I married was about average for mine. For biological reasons I don’t think the average age of newlyweds will creep up much higher, but if it was possible/practical for Americans to start families later in life, I think they would. That seems to b our preference.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;" /></p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">However, there’s a difference in the way marriage is happening. You
see, in the US teen marriages happen for love, while in the western
world it’s mostly for, everything else. Love -may- come after marriage</p>
<p>I didn’t really follow that. Can you restate it a different way?<br /></p></span></span><br />
January 24th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Also, Qwaidar, I think it might be useful to look at the entire population of American women and the age they got married, and the reasons for it, if you really want to get into the social factors for teen marraiges in the US. I don’t know if such stats are available (though they probably are) but I wasn’t just talking about teenagers as of today in my comments.
January 24th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
<p>sorry, that typo ruined it. I meant to say, </p><blockquote dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<p>However, there’s a difference in the way marriage is happening. You see, in the US teen marriages happen for love, while in the <strong>eastern</strong> world it’s mostly for, everything else. Love -may- come after marriage</p></blockquote>
<p>I was able to find statistics for teen pregnancies that indicate the national average to be 5.7% some places and 8.x% some where else. But it’s documented that in Washington DC area, it’s 12.8% that’s a lot of teen pregnancies. Now what does this have to do with the whole matter? This 12.8 are all unplanned! Which means the planned ones are at worst the same. Maybe a little less. In other words, teen marriages in the US are alive and well</p>
<p>Surprisingly in Utah, the rate is 5.0 which is mainly due to many people promoting young marriage there. So the average number of -unplanned- teen pregnancies dropped considerably</p>
<p>My parents married at 31/24 and that was half a century ago, it was their first marriage and had no kids before that. But they were both keen on pursuing their degrees/goals before they venture into marriage. All three sisters that I have married older than the age of 24, and only after having their degrees and working. But it’s quite clear that the average age for marriage has gone up a lot. Not because people are having fun and games back in Jordan, but because the cost of living skyrocketed and the unfair system of marriage in Jordan forces the males to proved everything prior to committing to marriage. (And everything means EVERYTHING other than the female’s body!) And before someone thinks I’m being sexist here, I have to remind them that in addition to all the stuff the marriage consists of, it also consists of two people and these two people have bodies and they are requirements for marriage!</p>
<p>Anyway, the rates in the US don’t affect the rates in Jordan and having this happen one place doesn’t justify it happening anywhere else. </p>
<p></p>
January 24th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Tololy (really sorry for hijacking your blog)
January 25th, 2008 at 1:08 am
<span class="commentBody"><span id="comment-33931"><span style="font-style: italic;">Tololy (really sorry for hijacking your blog)<br /><br /></span>Me too :)<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span>
January 25th, 2008 at 1:13 am
Not at all, Qwaider & Craig. I love it when people talk through my blog, and your discussion was very relevant.
January 25th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Tololy, that is an excellent post of yours and a topic that really needs to be addressed.</p>
<p>It didnt come of nowhere that modern societies are raising the age bar for marriage. It requires no brainer to realize the risks of marrying an underage person, if not for physical immaturity then for mental immaturity. We should also bear in mind that some people’s bodies mature late, that is why 18 is the appropriate age to consider someone an adolescence.</p>
<p>I guess that if a sheikh objects on a certain marriage because of the girl’s age, another one would just dismiss it with some extra money. I am not saying that all sheikh’s are corrupted, but you can always find someone who is. Our low should cover such cases and prevent it from happening. </p>
<p></p>
February 29th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
<p class="MsoNormal">Whoever wrote this article is clearly more concerned with
health bills, urbanisation, and potential population problems than with the
moral well-being of a society. <br /><br />
I wonder if the author would write a equally damning page if instead of girls
getting married early, they were struggling with child pregnancies where the
father is not known, as we have in the West. <br /><br />
A early marriage is better than a early abortion, it is better than a pregnant
girl who has to bring up a illegitimate baby while struggling on her own.</p>
With regards to population, in my own experience i have found that
large households (7-10 people) are actually much more productive than
smaller ones, and although initially it is a challenge and a struggle
to feed all thouse mouths, it is a pleasure provided you bring them up
correctly that your children become your guardians. <br /><br />
Islam gives us a beautiful way of life, if only we follow it and look
past our individual greeds and desires we can have the best of life and
the best of the hereafter. <br /><br />
Peace.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
In the West there are relatively less underage marriages than say in Jordan for the simple reason the girl or her parents don’t deem it urgent to get her married because she can co-habit and bring few children too before she decide to marry her partner or move on to other partmer or choose to live as single Mom, society frown on that but that is about the only reaction. Western govts. have realized this huge problem and how it affects raising children and actually pay the girl money to stay home and raise the kids on top of other child support benifits. To conclude ,underage marriages may be less but babies of underage girls are astronomical when compared to number of babies born to underage mothers in Jordan and talking size for size here. No one may misunderstand that I mean underage marriages that happen in Jordan and for that matter in the West are because girls got pregnant. Personally I don’t condone underage marriages except if the groom is also around 18 too and after trying to convice them both to wait few years more. Having said that my mother and all her 10 sisters married at or below 17 and had plenty children to make a tribe all healthy ,educated and the mothers are well and alive and kicking till today raising grandkids and grand grandkids except one who died young at age 62 of cancer.</p>