Unfortunately my whole life I have missed out on such entertainment, I have anti-marriage parents if there existed such a thing.  They don’t even like having people over who have single sons of marriageble age in case they get ideas, and my villager dad has on occasion yelled at people who suggest something and asks "who exactly do you think your son is".  I think my dad hates guys.

Seriously, awesome post!

The other part is personal growth. While you have been able to send a message to others, you forgot how this experience can help you grow. I assume that this is the first time this happens to you, and for a first time you did great, you must have been confused and filled with anger (as you described). Personal growth is achieved when you are able to overcome anger -the anger that prevents you from acting rationally-, and act in a mature manner.

For example, you say:
"Add to that, these people had already been informed that I was not interested." - Been informed?! Thats passive voice… Who informed them?!

Now, your marriage is your choice… You are the final arbiter! No one should speak on your behalf about your life choices. You marriage is your own life choice… So if those people where informed by some rumor, or someone from outer space told them, it was correct for them to ignore those signs. Because no one has the authority to dismiss them but you… Not even your mother or sister!

So unless they were directly informed by you that you are not interested, you have no basis to claim they were informed!! Don’t you think that in a twisted way, it was actually respectful of them not to take somebody else’s input on the subject, and wish to take your input directly?! [I know that not how it happened ;) ]

But I’ll simply remind u that a good man,who got good brains and can satisfy ur mentality..but got a hole in his pocket..may not be the best choice when u hardly can get by every month,and can’t afford to give u and ur kids the life u want for them..

..the benz and daddy’s wealth is always a win win in this situation.

So it is important that you take a grip on yourself and face a problem. The way you have explained yourself now suggests that you knew you couldn’t stay calm in front of the guests, and hence decided that avoiding the confrontation altogether is easier.

It seems that you mistakenly thought that you had two options, to start yelling at them, or ignore them altogether. But the more reasonable -and mature- option, is as I explained, to calmly explain yourself.

You are an adult lady, and it would seem more reasonable that you handle what concerns you by yourself, instead of shifting the responsibility to your parents. This amount of maturity is not easy… I, myself, am not mature enough to handle all social situations on my own… And I understand that traditional marriage procedure is not a situation you’d go through everyday. But at least, admitting that a problem exists is part of the solution!

What you did was great! But this doesn’t mean that you couldn’t have done better…

Forget this. I am never going to Syria again!

*Rambling Hal high fives Tololy*

WOohoo!!!

Qwaider, they must have thought that I will be forced by ‘proper social conduct’ to come see them, I guess that is why they came even after they were told I am not interested.

I agree that many women are forced to go through similar situations and do not necessarily enjoy them, and I hinted at that in the post. Calling that woman cheap and available in her day is something I will not change my mind about, simply because she must have been indeed ‘available’ and must have had some sort of ‘value’ which is why she allowed, or her family allowed, her to be treated the way she wanted to treat me.

I am against the inspection of potential brides like they are merchandise, and I see it as explicit objectification. If she has gone through this in her day, and still condones it and does it to other women, then she is pretty backward. Oh, and she even mentioned something about this "way" being the "decent way for an engagement." Apparently, in her opinion, all the women in the world who marry in different ways are indecent harlots.

My point is, women should not perpetuate this kind of humiliating treatment of their gender. She did, so goodbye and good riddance to her!

Devil’s Mind, read the first lines of my comment. I do get angry when someone looks down on me with an air of superiority, and this language is a product of these feelings. I don’t see why you say I don’t have a ‘grip’ on myself while at the same time accusing me of being cowardly exactly for having that grip on myself. It doesn’t make sense to me, but all the same, I will not justify my actions and my attitudes to you. You can think about it a little, and find out that what I did was anything but cowardly. Bursting in the guests’ room and yelling at the woman would not have achieved anything but a bad rep for my family, while ignoring her presence and having my opinion explained to her AGAIN by my mother spited her to madness. Goodbye and good riddance, again!

You women have to stand up for youselves.  It is time to change old degrading habits. 

First, you start the article by:
"To the people who visited us this evening: … etc"

It seems to me that you had certain things you wanted to say to those unwanted visitors that you didn’t say!! You decided to stay in your room because you didn’t want that woman to see you, so that she won’t be able to "describe" you to her son…

Now thats a veiled woman talking. [In honesty, I used the adjective 'veiled' to denote a negative trait - but thats NOT to be generalized!] The problem is that you have used a ‘cover’ (staying in your room) to run away from confrontation. You think that if she saw your face or your body, that she would have automatically won.

But what I think should have happened, is to show up, and calmly explain that you are not interested. <b>Face her with the truth.</b> I understand that by your twisted logic, you think that by showing up, you would have lost, but I beg to differ!

Well, you did use it when that guy bragged on your girlfriend with his car… But don’t you think that these incidents are actually making you walk out of yourself?! Speak in ways you don’t usually speak?! I think that keeping yourself together, and avoiding strong emotional baggage is a more reasonable course of action!!

I am not sure if you are making this a big deal for the sake of writing this article, or to vent out emotional baggage… But if its the latter, I would think you can have a better grip on yourself… In bad social situations, having a good grip is important.

Every time my brother visits Jordan over the holidays, my parents try to do the same thing, and it drives him nuts. Luckily they’ve totally given up on me :)

This is one tradition we need to let go off. I’d also love to dump 3azaa traditions while we’re at it.

A woman who marries in this way is also very honorable, and shouldn’t be described in the fashion you did above. It’s not fair to blame the victims, you of all people should know, and should sympathize with ones that are less fortunate than you.

The most amazing case would be the case where the boy and girl already know, love and accept each other, and then they go over the social make up. But so very few have that…

Anyway, way to go on your rejection

Unrelated:
The comment text box is too short, can you make it a little taller? The width is great but the height is too short

What’s wrong with having a nose ring? Or many earings? Bleah.

Honestly, a guy who uses his mother or sisters or aunts or some match maker to find him a bride has no personality or decision making skills. He should be ashamed to be human!

i wonder if i can get a hold of that LIST …

keep it up