Note to Self
Dear Self,
It’s absurd that I am writing you a note and publishing it, a blatant contradiction in terms similar to saying “I am discreet but I have an exhibitionistic flare,” but I will do it anyway because I must unload my mind right this minute or I will lose this pressing idea. You know that my ideas are generally evanescent, you can’t blame me.
I believe I am about to change again. In the series of changes that make up who I am, this one is not yet very defined but I promise it will be extraordinary. I can feel it. There is a rush to it, a certain bitter taste at first which later turns sweet then insipid right when another change comes along.
It’s an accelerating feeling of getting close to something entirely authentic. At a certain distance I will have to decide if I want to embrace it, and that moment is always the most painful. Remember the last time I changed? It took years for me to finally muster up enough courage to shed my previous skin, and it’s an ongoing process still, faced with many obstacles and far from being complete.
It’s wonderful how other people can inspire improvement. I am fortunate to know some of these rare specimens of human excellence. I suppose they are models of godliness in their capacity to breathe life into other minds. To meet someone like that is a true privilege, so you should never compromise on the quality of company you keep. Remember this bit whenever you question your life choices. Also remember that while the public does not think, there is an intellectual elite hidden somewhere who make basking in their light worth the pain of brushing the masses aside.
Now back to work.
Tololy
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