I was at a familial ladies’ get-together last night, hosted at my sister’s place.
Episode I
Tololy walks around in her high-heeled black patent leather shoes, when a married cousin gasps and stops her dead in her tracks.
Cousin: WHAT are these things in your ears?
Tololy: Earrings.
Cousin: WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY?
Tololy: Because I like them.
Cousin: Are they real?
Tololy: Yes.
Cousin: Why, why, why did you mutilate your ears so?
Tololy: Because I like piercings.
Cousin: But, but, your ears have so many holes in them now!
Tololy: So?
Cousin: So…they’re mutilated. I bet getting them pierced was painful too.
Tololy: Yes it was, but that was OK.
Cousin: Why would you do that to yourself?
Tololy (wanting to end the conversation): These are not new by the way. You’ve seen them before.
Episode IITololy sits on a chair and listens to a conversation between two women, now nodding, now smiling. One of her cousins starts a conversation with her.
Cousin: Short hair suits you very well!
Tololy: Thanks!
Cousin: When did you cut your hair? I remember you had really long hair…
Tololy: Oh, it’s been this short for over two years.
Cousin: I haven’t seen you for that long?
Episode III
Tololy’s cousin’s wife is very religious. She stands up at the end of the gathering and distributes religious brochures. Tololy is handed one about Ramadan and fear of god, which she quickly turns into a fan, then a cigarette.
Episode IVLady: What is that in your nose?
Tololy: A nose ring.
Lady: Oh. I see.
Episode V
It is food time. All the ladies gather around the table and start to fill their plates.
Lady: Ooh…who made the cheesecake?
Mom: My daughter x made this and that, and my daughter y made this, this, and these.
Lady: And what did Tololy make?
Mom: Umm…
Tololy: I provided emotional support.
Mom: She acted as our chauffeur, you know, took us places, got the kids home from school…
Lady: Ah.
Naturally, with every kiss I planted on each of the ladies’ cheeks, I heard a wish that I would get married. They wished that the next time they gather, it would be in my house, or that the next “happy event” will be my wedding.
The older ones seemed to be particularly interested in my getting hitched soon, and it’s funny because as far as I know they’re not entirely happy in their marriages or lives in general. For that reason alone, I believe that enthusiastically wishing someone marriage is actually a facade for a malevolent desire to spread one’s misery. In the very best cases, it is a ready-made expression which renders people into annoying parrots.
Very interesting questions they ask eh? Women..
I am sure your experience was not amusing but I am sorry I had to laugh. I am a single male. Fortunately, I don’t have to suffer listening to relatives’ questions, comments, suggestions, and solutions because I am not in Jordan. Still when you hear the “when you are going to get married? you are not young you know” question/comment from a friend it somehow hurts not because I agree with you on “I believe that enthusiastically wishing someone marriage is actually a facade for a malevolent desire to spread one’s misery.” I never wrote that long comment on someone’s blog. The post was funny I can totally relate to that somehow.
Episode II rocks !
Episode III is plain rude,one don’t have to be so to make a point .
Episode IV didn’t add a thing to the whole.
n i don’t believe that “wishing someone marriage is actually a facade for a malevolent desire to spread one’s misery.” cut people some slack :) tho for some it could be wut u just said.
Au contraire, I want to see you married some day to the kind of man who will bring you the same joy I share with my hubby! Noto misery. A man who respects you, values you, adores you, inspires you, challenges you and to whom you do the same. AND< one who likes your piercings and wants you to have a tattoo in a special place. That last part I am not praying for, it may be a stretch of faith, bas hayk, bijuus?
Well that was funny (in some episodes… I didn’t like Episode III as well) actually there are some annoying habits in such gathering specially in the food time when they swear on you to eat the whole ‘table’ even if you are really really stuffed :D but I don see any of these habits as a ” facade for a malevolent desire to spread one’s misery” nor as a real continues irritating horror, it’s away simpler than that, and am with the second part ” a ready-made expression” or you may call it a compliment.
Btw, “Very interesting questions they ask eh? Women” I wanted to say so but I was afraid that Tol will yell the hell on me, start cursing and get mad :P /kd
well am sad u didn’t have a good time , though u kept asking me about this gathering… for ur information i kept telling my hubby how legendry u looked that day, don’t listen to all women talk it’s just full of crap….just remmber our nights togther when we used to come back from weddings and ask y r we different :)…..
I can only think of all the food on those tables!..meanwhile I was probably having another tuna/sardeen for dinner! next time save some for your commenters!
you gotta be more flexible lady..those grim perspectives/issues in ur head don\’t bring no good.
What can I say, haven’t all women above 20 been there? Still am by the way…
At least your family didn’t take it to the next level!! Sometime this summer my dear grandma threw a party on my behalf inviting who she thought are the wealthiest most prestigious women in Amman and introduced me to each and every one of them and ofcourse didn’t fail to mention how old I am, where I studied, what im currently doing, exc…
Beat that!
I wish my “familial gatherings” were this interesting