Trying not to get judgmental is no easy business, but seriously now, I think parents are the greatest hypocrites to ever exist among us. Most of them preach virtue but are in fact the biggest sinners; they teach their children honesty while they are the biggest liars themselves, and they pretend to love their children but also find it proper to complain and wish they were never parents. What is that all about? I just can’t justify that, I mean, if you don’t want kids then don’t make any. And more importantly, if you are not fit to have kids then PLEASE don’t make any! Don’t go around having kids and then bitching about it all the time to your friends and family or making them feel you are God for the rest of their lives just because you did a very simple biological thing and created them. It’s just pathetic.

Too teenager-like for you? News flash: it’s not! Just take a look at parents around you, I know some of them really love their kids and all that but how many of them actually realize the responsibility that lies upon them as they raise their kids? How many of them earnestly reflected on the thought that they are creating LIFE, as they were in the process of creating it? How many parents do you know do not act as if they own their kids and whenever their kids gain a sense of independence they feel they’re losing their grip? How many parents do you know, in this country, treat their children equally? How many parents, again in this country, think about their financial and social situation BEFORE making any kids? They simply have kids and more kids only to realize they can’t really afford bringing them up, most of them solemnly believe that this has something to do with religion, I really can’t agree with that. Simple math: if you can’t give them the best, don’t have them. And if you’re not mentally and emotionally ready to receive them and accept them the way they are, then –I guess you know the rest of the sentence by now- don’t have them!

So back to my argument about parental hypocrisy. What I find so strikingly funny is that so many moms teach their kids not to lie (morality 101) but they also teach them NOT to object to their lies in public. I’ll explain, a mom teaches her daughter not to lie because that’s wrong. But this same mom lies in front of her own daughter and teaches her not to object to that and that it’s OK because this is mom lying.
Yet another real-life example of how parents are such hypocrites. They teach their children not to do all sorts of forbidden things while they have a been there done that situation. Which means they themselves have done all the things they tell their kids not to do. Some might argue that is because they don’t want their kids to commit the same mistakes and get in trouble, but hello? I’m so not buying that. Children want to explore things for themselves and this is something parents just don’t get. They will do these things sooner or later and will probably not tell their parents about them due to the constant preaching and, needless to say, the fact that their parents are hypocrites.

This naturally doesn’t mean I am anti-parents. I sometimes like them but most of the time I am indifferent to or repulsed by their actions. Maybe one day I’ll be as much a hypocrite as they are. But well at least I’ll know I’m a hypocrite and I’ll try not to overdo it. *smiles*

I’m seriously fed up.. can’t take it anymore and I can’t fix myself everytime they try to break me.. got little energy left and no people to cheer for me as I run. Horraaaaaaaayyyy blah… when will this struggle ever end? or actually the question should be, will it ever end? Dracula is still alive and sucking away all the vital signs that I radiate and I’m fighting and fighting and regenerating myself each time I lose a limb and my head is spinning and my tears are rolling down my cheeks only to find out they were not salty liquid-like but rather crystal-like stones that have sharp edges..and they cut through my face and my blood drools and my mouth licks it away and I pretend nothing happened.. and I forget things coz maybe then they’d go away and I’d convince myself that they never happened for real.. then one day I realise in the darkness of my eyelids that they did happen and that I lost a big round chunck of my memory for the sake of …sanity

I’m not sure what to put down… currently reading a book on psychological warfare, very interesting stuff but the author’s language is so weak… it’s in Arabic and it’s no surprise the author’s language is like that since he’s in the army,or was.. dunno… this book was published back in 1975, and I found a copy of it in our library… and since I finished reading The Scarlet Letter and still haven’t bought another meal for the thought, I figured I’d take a look at this book…. if only the author’s language was better!

It’s amazing how one can control people by knowing how they think,and using that to channel their minds to whichever direction one wants. Fear is certainly a devastating power. Usage of black propaganda,aeral propaganda leaflets and various PSYOPS (psychological operations) can strongly weaken the morale of the enemy’s troops and even that of civilians. this achieved, the enemy will find little resistance and perhaps even no resistance at all should the people be deeply affected by the operations. The whole point of these operations is to make you question your own beliefs and your motives for defending your country or doing whatever it is that you are convinced is necessary that you do, once you question that, it is easy to beat u down. More and more leaflets will be dropped telling you not to resist and making you doubt your leaders’ intentions and abilities, telling you that these troops are here to protect you should you stay out of their business. This is how leaflets work.
Rumors and uncertain/misleading news also play a great role in PSYWARs. It’s amazing how little attention we pay these small things that could infact affect us a great deal.
I found a great site about PSYWARs and PSYOPS, it provides examples of these operations and even leaflets..which is awesome! This thing is big…real big : http://www.psywar.org/index.php

It makes me wonder how many people are aware of such things, I mean, I basically know so few people who know that such things exist… it’s so sad.. how are we supposed to survive without first knowing what’s going on in the world around us?

**The U.S. Department of Defense defines psychological warfare (PSYWAR) as:

“The planned use of propaganda and other psychological actions having the primary purpose of influencing the opinions, emotions, attitudes, and behavior of hostile foreign groups in such a way as to support the achievement of national objectives.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PSYWAR

All times co-exist…The moments of your life already exist,and wait for you to step into them… All is predetermined…The past,the present,the future,and time itself…all are here at the same instant.

If we enter a super massive black hole and avoid singularity,we would come out on the other side and emerge into another realm perhaps…another place and time..it could be the past..or the future.. ours or those of other universes…

This is a very interesting page that I recommend you visit…

http://islam.speed-light.info/relativity_quran.htm

3 finals gone & 3 still to go. I love the way I feel these days, I’m just numb and it is such an elevating feeling! Today I went with my family to our house in Karak. On our way there I saw strange things. To start with; there was a really shaggy village with mud houses right next to the desert road… it looked so dead and so forgotten. But as I wondered how these people lived there and how it must be like, I saw a white kite flying up in the sky above the mud houses and it made me so happy. I kept staring at the kite until it vanished.

30 minutes later, I was looking at some houses and I suddenly saw a white rabbit going right into the main entrance of one of the villas. At fist glance I thought I was imagining things but I looked real hard and it was a rabbit!!! It somehow reminded me of the rabbit and the magician in Sophie’s World… that part got me thinking.
Then my brothers invented a silly gig to entertain themselves. Everytime we pass a car by one of them would say “Excuse us” and they would start laughing. I still don’t get it… I think it’s the sun and the heat, it messed with their heads.

Then the road ended.
I had a great time. Tsuki-san was there too and he enjoyed it alot. Well then the “men” of the family decided to go hunting while I was napping. They returned with a wounded baby owl. My brother had shot her not knowing it was an owl so they brought her to me. It was only natural for me to want to fix her and keep her, so I took her home with me. We hit the road again: a 1984 Honda crowded with creatures. 4 grownups, 1 baby, 1 kitten,1 baby owl. It was extremely surreal and I couldn’t help but laugh. Who would’ve believed that?

So I got back home and the first thing I did was see what’s wrong with baby owl. When I took a close look to clean the wound I just cried I always cry when I see hurt creatures because I imagine the amount of pain they must be suffering from, having cried and all I cleaned her wound and did the necessary and wrapped it with a bandage etc. I had previously feared the bullet rested inside since there was no exit wound. But to my great delight I discovered there was no bullet inside the wound simply because she wasn’t that badly hurt. Apparently she was flying and spreading her wings when my brother shot her,this explains the wound being located UNDER the wing and the wing not being affected at all. Adding to that, the bullet didn’t actually penetrate her body it just shattered surface flesh and flew on. I thought I saw her bones showing through the wound,but later I found out it was just lightly colored and de-feathered skin. I felt so good.

This made me think… that maybe I do fit in heaven afterall.

“I do not feel obliged to believe
that the same God who has endowed us
with sadness, reason and intellect
has intended us to forgo their use”

So all the stars
Will guide us on our way
The Sextant as a leader
Has duration for all days

Look at the amazing skies
In long and profund discoveries
With a strong and a clear mind he’s encrypting
More secrets of astronomy

In endless nights
He entirely observes the skies
His publications will change the world

Galileo Galilei

Only what my eyes will see, I will believe!
Day and night - seperated by the light

In Pisa he’s required
To teach the theory
That the stars and all the planets
Revolve around the earth
But he believed
In a different truth
The heliocentric one
Proposed by Kopernikus
A new age has begun

The stolen sun
Makes their fear rise
And man will sacrifice
The moon is the reason why

The amazing skies…

In endless nights..

And all the servants of the cross - they will deny
Will deny the starlight

In Pisa he’s required
To teach the theory
That the stars and all the planets
Revolve around the earth
But he believed
In a different truth
The heliocentric one
Proposed by Kopernikus
A new age has begun

Haggard - The Observer

My brother got me a baby chameleon that he caught.. I named her “August”. I let her go too after a lovely photo-shoot. Now I’m drinking a blackish liquid,it is supposed to be fizzy but it no longer is, too old, in a tall plastic orange glass that smells like oregano.

Have you ever become your own enemy? The perfect negation of everything you have previously based your universal truths upon? Then you doubt who you are . Are you a saint or a sinner? who are you? you are your own worst nightmare. The opposite of what you once held as right and pure.

I am in such a turmoil of thought that I find no route that leads out.

For a considerable period of time I was alienated from my mother tongue. Ever since I finished high school I did not touch an Arabic book,save for the two obligatory syntax-related ones at college. And even then the way in which the subjects were presented was not at all appealing. It makes me sad to see most of my peers unable to appreciate and enjoy the beauty and depth of the books in the Arabic library. I had been one of them for the past three years but now I finally sobered up and I am back on track.

The situation of the Arabic language is simply complicated. It is one of the richest languages and yet one of the most targeted. By whom? My theory is that when occupation came to our lands, colonists (The british in Jordan and Egypt,The french in Syria,Lebanon,Morocco,and Tunisia,The italians in Libya) decided the best way to alienate muslims from their religion is to attack the Holy Quran. Now burning Quran or just making it vanish was not an option since muslims would never allow that, so the bad guys figured : If Quran is the core of Islam, and it is a linguistic miracle ( and a miracle in other aspects as well), then what we could do is distant these muslims from the language of Quran, and then they won’t be able to understand it and Islam will be shattered.
They knew it would take a lot of time and sweat, but they did it. Making Arabs and Muslims live in the illusion of the “prestige” that foreign words and expressions hold did work. I do not mean to say that Arabic did not follow the typical course of linguistic evolution and change,like all other languages, thus promoting the various dialects and such. But I have no doubt this was emphasized by those bad guys. As a matter of fact, during the occupations of Arab lands many restrictions were made to prevent people from using Arabic and to force them to use the language of the dominant countries. This has worked, this is what we mean by Cultural Invasion.

If you walk down the street in Amman, you would probably hear so many people using English instead of Arabic. I just told why the case is so. The false prestige of foreign words got to us.It is difficult to try and tell some brain-washed people to use Arabic, they would dismiss the diea as if it was a bad joke.
Back to my argument now. So when Arabs forgot their language, they could no longer relate to what the Holy Quran says, they could no longer read Arabic books without the use of a dictionary, they could no longer write in proper Arabic and actually make sense. This is what’s happened to my language and it angers me so much, since I too played a part in doing that to it. I used to write stories in Arabic, I always loved the language and enjoyed it tremendously, where did that go? why did I choose to let it go?

To redeem myself, I began reading Arabic again. I read an amazing novel by Taha Hussein entitled “Do3a2 al karawan” which means ” The supplication of the stone curlew”. here’s a link to a site about the great author :http://www.sis.gov.eg/egyptinf/culture/html/thussein.htm