I’m seriously fed up.. can’t take it anymore and I can’t fix myself everytime they try to break me.. got little energy left and no people to cheer for me as I run. Horraaaaaaaayyyy blah… when will this struggle ever end? or actually the question should be, will it ever end? Dracula is still alive and sucking away all the vital signs that I radiate and I’m fighting and fighting and regenerating myself each time I lose a limb and my head is spinning and my tears are rolling down my cheeks only to find out they were not salty liquid-like but rather crystal-like stones that have sharp edges..and they cut through my face and my blood drools and my mouth licks it away and I pretend nothing happened.. and I forget things coz maybe then they’d go away and I’d convince myself that they never happened for real.. then one day I realise in the darkness of my eyelids that they did happen and that I lost a big round chunck of my memory for the sake of …sanity

I’m not sure what to put down… currently reading a book on psychological warfare, very interesting stuff but the author’s language is so weak… it’s in Arabic and it’s no surprise the author’s language is like that since he’s in the army,or was.. dunno… this book was published back in 1975, and I found a copy of it in our library… and since I finished reading The Scarlet Letter and still haven’t bought another meal for the thought, I figured I’d take a look at this book…. if only the author’s language was better!

It’s amazing how one can control people by knowing how they think,and using that to channel their minds to whichever direction one wants. Fear is certainly a devastating power. Usage of black propaganda,aeral propaganda leaflets and various PSYOPS (psychological operations) can strongly weaken the morale of the enemy’s troops and even that of civilians. this achieved, the enemy will find little resistance and perhaps even no resistance at all should the people be deeply affected by the operations. The whole point of these operations is to make you question your own beliefs and your motives for defending your country or doing whatever it is that you are convinced is necessary that you do, once you question that, it is easy to beat u down. More and more leaflets will be dropped telling you not to resist and making you doubt your leaders’ intentions and abilities, telling you that these troops are here to protect you should you stay out of their business. This is how leaflets work.
Rumors and uncertain/misleading news also play a great role in PSYWARs. It’s amazing how little attention we pay these small things that could infact affect us a great deal.
I found a great site about PSYWARs and PSYOPS, it provides examples of these operations and even leaflets..which is awesome! This thing is big…real big : http://www.psywar.org/index.php

It makes me wonder how many people are aware of such things, I mean, I basically know so few people who know that such things exist… it’s so sad.. how are we supposed to survive without first knowing what’s going on in the world around us?

**The U.S. Department of Defense defines psychological warfare (PSYWAR) as:

“The planned use of propaganda and other psychological actions having the primary purpose of influencing the opinions, emotions, attitudes, and behavior of hostile foreign groups in such a way as to support the achievement of national objectives.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PSYWAR

All times co-exist…The moments of your life already exist,and wait for you to step into them… All is predetermined…The past,the present,the future,and time itself…all are here at the same instant.

If we enter a super massive black hole and avoid singularity,we would come out on the other side and emerge into another realm perhaps…another place and time..it could be the past..or the future.. ours or those of other universes…

This is a very interesting page that I recommend you visit…

http://islam.speed-light.info/relativity_quran.htm

3 finals gone & 3 still to go. I love the way I feel these days, I’m just numb and it is such an elevating feeling! Today I went with my family to our house in Karak. On our way there I saw strange things. To start with; there was a really shaggy village with mud houses right next to the desert road… it looked so dead and so forgotten. But as I wondered how these people lived there and how it must be like, I saw a white kite flying up in the sky above the mud houses and it made me so happy. I kept staring at the kite until it vanished.

30 minutes later, I was looking at some houses and I suddenly saw a white rabbit going right into the main entrance of one of the villas. At fist glance I thought I was imagining things but I looked real hard and it was a rabbit!!! It somehow reminded me of the rabbit and the magician in Sophie’s World… that part got me thinking.
Then my brothers invented a silly gig to entertain themselves. Everytime we pass a car by one of them would say “Excuse us” and they would start laughing. I still don’t get it… I think it’s the sun and the heat, it messed with their heads.

Then the road ended.
I had a great time. Tsuki-san was there too and he enjoyed it alot. Well then the “men” of the family decided to go hunting while I was napping. They returned with a wounded baby owl. My brother had shot her not knowing it was an owl so they brought her to me. It was only natural for me to want to fix her and keep her, so I took her home with me. We hit the road again: a 1984 Honda crowded with creatures. 4 grownups, 1 baby, 1 kitten,1 baby owl. It was extremely surreal and I couldn’t help but laugh. Who would’ve believed that?

So I got back home and the first thing I did was see what’s wrong with baby owl. When I took a close look to clean the wound I just cried I always cry when I see hurt creatures because I imagine the amount of pain they must be suffering from, having cried and all I cleaned her wound and did the necessary and wrapped it with a bandage etc. I had previously feared the bullet rested inside since there was no exit wound. But to my great delight I discovered there was no bullet inside the wound simply because she wasn’t that badly hurt. Apparently she was flying and spreading her wings when my brother shot her,this explains the wound being located UNDER the wing and the wing not being affected at all. Adding to that, the bullet didn’t actually penetrate her body it just shattered surface flesh and flew on. I thought I saw her bones showing through the wound,but later I found out it was just lightly colored and de-feathered skin. I felt so good.

This made me think… that maybe I do fit in heaven afterall.

“I do not feel obliged to believe
that the same God who has endowed us
with sadness, reason and intellect
has intended us to forgo their use”

So all the stars
Will guide us on our way
The Sextant as a leader
Has duration for all days

Look at the amazing skies
In long and profund discoveries
With a strong and a clear mind he’s encrypting
More secrets of astronomy

In endless nights
He entirely observes the skies
His publications will change the world

Galileo Galilei

Only what my eyes will see, I will believe!
Day and night - seperated by the light

In Pisa he’s required
To teach the theory
That the stars and all the planets
Revolve around the earth
But he believed
In a different truth
The heliocentric one
Proposed by Kopernikus
A new age has begun

The stolen sun
Makes their fear rise
And man will sacrifice
The moon is the reason why

The amazing skies…

In endless nights..

And all the servants of the cross - they will deny
Will deny the starlight

In Pisa he’s required
To teach the theory
That the stars and all the planets
Revolve around the earth
But he believed
In a different truth
The heliocentric one
Proposed by Kopernikus
A new age has begun

Haggard - The Observer